featured image for podcast episodeMoney and Relationships | Part 2

Money and Relationships | Part 2
Episode 301

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Posted by Choose FI

Episode Guide

Episode Summary:

Exploring the intersection of relationships and finances, this episode continues a deep dive into how personal stories and family dynamics shape financial habits. Hosts Jonathan Mendonsa and Brad Barrett engage with Jillian Johnsrud to address listener questions, touching on topics of financial independence within relationships, the implications of parental support, and the complexities of combining finances in a marriage. The conversation emphasizes effective communication, setting boundaries, and making informed decisions about money. By sharing personal anecdotes and practical advice, the episode helps listeners navigate challenging financial conversations with their partners, promoting a collaborative approach to achieve financial goals together.

Episode Timestamps

ChooseFI Podcast: Relationships and Money (Part 2)

Episode Summary:

This episode continues the conversation on financial independence and relationships, with a focus on navigating financial dynamics in partnerships. Key themes include understanding personal money stories, establishing boundaries, and effective strategies for combining finances. Listeners are encouraged to reflect on the implications of parental financial support while striving for autonomy. The episode concludes with actionable insights on managing finances collaboratively.

Key Takeaways:

  • Understanding Money Stories: Recognizing how early financial experiences shape current financial behaviors and attitudes in relationships.
  • Setting Boundaries: Importance of establishing clear financial boundaries to ensure independence while maintaining support.
  • Combining Finances: Strategies for combining finances effectively, particularly for couples preparing for marriage.
  • Travel Rewards: Discussion on the benefits and strategies of utilizing travel rewards points for significant savings on travel expenses.

Timestamps:

  • Podcast Intro: You're listening to ChooseFI. The blueprint for financial independence lives here. If you're looking to unlock the secrets to financial independence and early retirement, you're in the right place. Stay tuned and join a community of like-minded people who are getting off the Instagram and taking control of their lives in the pursuit of financial independence. ChooseFI, your home for financial independence online.
  • Jillian's Insights: Introduction of Jillian Johnsrud and discussion on financial independence.
  • Listener Voicemail: Asia shares her financial concerns regarding dependence on parental support.
  • Discussion on navigating financial independence while accepting parental support.
  • Combining Finances Discussion: Strategies for combining finances in a relationship and setting up joint accounts.

Action Items:

  • Establish clear boundaries regarding financial support from parents.
  • Schedule regular financial meetings to discuss and manage shared expenses.
  • Utilize available travel rewards to maximize savings while planning trips.

Speaker Highlights:

  • Brad Barrett: Co-host known for his insights into personal finance and relationships.
  • Jillian Johnsrud: Expert in managing the intersection of money and relationships.

Key Quotes:

  • "What does it mean to receive from her parents, but also what does it mean for her parents to give? There are two sides to that coin..."
  • "If boundaries are fine, there's no boundary issue, there's no communication issues..."
  • "Communication is key when combining finances."

Discussion Questions:

  • How do you perceive the influence of your upbringing on your financial habits?
  • What approaches have worked for you when combining finances in a relationship?

Podcast Conclusion:

Thank you for joining us for this episode of ChooseFI Podcast. Be sure to subscribe and share your thoughts with us as we continue to explore the vital connection between personal finance and relationships.

Navigating Financial Independence in Relationships

Understanding how to navigate finances in a relationship is crucial for achieving financial independence. This article discusses essential strategies and insights on combining finances, setting boundaries, and managing dependencies effectively.

Understanding Your Money Story

Before blending your financial lives with a partner, it's vital to reflect on your individual money stories. Your upbringing significantly influences your financial behavior and attitudes. Recognizing these beliefs is the first step towards achieving a unified financial approach.

  • Self-Reflection: Take time to contemplate how your past experiences shape your current financial habits. Consider discussing these openly with your partner to foster understanding.

  • Common Goals: Establish common financial goals. Whether saving for a home, travel, or retirement, having a mutual end goal can align your efforts and create a sense of teamwork.

Setting Boundaries with Financial Support

Dependency on family support is common, especially in early adulthood. However, it's essential to set healthy boundaries if you aim for financial autonomy.

  • Evaluate Financial Help: Determine if accepting financial support is hindering your independence or growth. Ask yourself critical questions about the implications of these supports.

  • Discuss Boundaries: Communicate with your partner about your comfort level regarding parental support. Make sure both of you understand each other’s perspectives and how this support impacts your relationship.

Combining Finances: Baby Steps

When transitioning from individual finances to a united front, it's wise to start small. Here are some effective strategies to consider:

Open a Joint Checking Account

This account can facilitate easier management of shared expenses without entangling your credit histories.

  • Regular Meetings: Schedule regular financial meetings. Use this time to review joint expenses, budgets, and long-term goals, fostering transparency and communication.

  • Separate Credit Cards: Maintain individual credit cards but agree on how to manage shared expenses. This approach protects each partner against financial liabilities that may arise from the other’s debt.

Utilizing Travel Rewards

Travel rewards can provide significant savings and enhance your overall travel experience. Here’s how to maximize these benefits:

  • Sign Up for Reward Programs: Join travel rewards programs associated with your preferred airlines and hotels to accumulate points.

  • Plan Ahead: Booking travel in advance can lead to better redemption options, especially in less competitive markets. Use accrued points strategically for significant saves during trips.

Communication is Key

A strong communication foundation is vital for financial success in a relationship. Here are actionable tips:

  • Open Dialogue: Encourage conversations about financial expectations, habits, and values. This dialogue ensures alignment, reducing friction in the future.

  • Regular Check-Ins: Make it a habit to discuss your financial standing regularly. Regular assessments help both partners stay on the same page.

Strategic Financial Growth

Encouraging financial growth is essential for both partners to feel empowered. Consider the following actionable strategies:

  • Set Financial Milestones: Establish and celebrate achieving milestones like savings goals, debt repayments, or making investments. This collective success builds confidence in the partnership.

  • Educate Together: Use resources like classes or podcasts focused on personal finance to educate and empower each other in financial decision-making.

Conclusion

Achieving financial independence within a relationship requires careful planning, open communication, and mutual respect for each other's financial pasts. By understanding money stories, setting boundaries on financial support, and maintaining prudent habits, couples can strengthen their relationship and navigate their financial journeys effectively.

Implement these strategies to transition into a financially independent partnership, fostering a foundation built on clear communication and united goals.

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Jillian Johnsrud

What You'll Get Out Of Today's Show

  • What are you getting hung up on with relationships and money? We continue the conversation in Part 2 of the Relationships and Money series with Jillian Johnsrud.
  • Although March is finally here and the sunshine is motivating Jonathan to push away the processed carbs in favor of broccoli and hummus, Richmond's recent ice storms had Brad using his stash of travel rewards for the first time in over a year.
  • Travel rewards come in handy at home too. After losing power from the storm, Brad called up a local Hyatt to see if they had power and was able to use 5,000 with Hyatt to book a room, and quickly move his family out of a cold home for the night. If he had been short on Hyatt points, he could have quickly transferred Chase Ultimate Rewards points over to cover the rate.
  • Even if you aren't ready to travel now, plan ahead and start stockpiling travel rewards points now so you have them once you do want to travel again. Take the travel course at ChooseFI.com/travel to learn how.
  • The next roundup episodes will feature Alan Donegan and focus on building a business in 2021. Submit a voicemail with the questions and concerns you would like to have addressed at ChooseFI.com/voicemail.
  • Have a question on a different topic? Submit your voicemail and join the live radio shows held on Stereo, Tuesdays at 7:30 pm Eastern.
  • In Episode 300 with Jillian, she discussed how your past money story motivates you and creates fear as it pertains to money and relationships. Part 2 of the series examines being financially independent while still dependent.
  • Listener Asia is engaged and works full-time while her partner is still going to school and works part-time. They each have vastly different money stories and have started combining finances. Her partner is still receiving some financial support from her parents. While her partner wants to begin become more independent, Asia wonders if it would be smarter to continue as things are.
  • Jonathan sees three issues with Asia and her partner's situation: attachment, boundaries, and economics. For Jillian, one of the elements was what habits and practices Asia's fiance can take to feel like a financial grown-up and equal partner in the relationship. She also considered what it might mean for the fiance to receive from her parents, as well as what it might mean to the fiance's parent to give.
  • Jonathan sees nothing wrong with accepting help so long as there are no boundary or communication issues or strings attached. Brad thinks it sounds like a positive situation but is also concerned about ulterior motives.
  • After graduating college, Brad lived at home with his parents while saving 90% of his income which gave him a huge jumpstart on his path to FI.
  • Jonathan noted that there could potentially be some tax-filing issues that could be related to the child tax credit and paying for dependent healthcare that could be important to figure out.
  • Jillian says society's rules don't matter, you can write your own rules of what it means to be a financial grown-up without there being a contradiction. Help can be a sweet thing family can do, but even she had issues with family members trying to control her with financial assistance while she went to school.
  • There are other things you can do to feel like a financial grown-up, like tracking expenses or coming up with a debt repayment plan. You can be a financial grown-up, take advantage of opportunities without taking advantage of relatives as long as your goals are aligned and they want to see you succeed.
  • Brad wants to be able to help his kids out when they are older. He respects parents who charge their children rent and teach them to be financially responsible, but he hopes to instill those lessons throughout childhood.
  • Listener Precious will be getting married soon. So far they have been sending money back and forth to each other, but she wants to be more efficient and is wondering what the best way to begin combining finances is.
  • While Jillian wants to believe all love will last forever, she advises against opening up a credit card together in the first few years of marriage due to the bills being divided up in a painful divorce process. However, opening up a joint checking account is a good baby step since at worst only the money in the account can be spent without going into debt. How much each person contributes and what bills get paid from it opens up the lines of communication.
  • When you are young and your finances are simple, combining all of your finances makes a lot of sense. In contrast, Jillian's financial life is much more complicated and if she had to remarry, she isn't sure she would combine her finances with anyone else.
  • Credit card and car debt can be kept separate, but it's usually better to have both names on a home loan since real estate is an asset being grown together. But also so that it doesn't become a painful process to untether if necessary in the future.
  • In a new marriage, Jonathan says he wouldn't feel comfortable being a co-signer on a credit card since he would be legally responsible but have no insight into what was going on until it crashes into a wall. On the other hand, adding an authorized user gives you more control and insight into how the card is being used and it can be revoked.
  • Brad and Jonathan have their own bobblehead figure! It was given to them by All-Star Money for being creators of content who inspire readers to improve their financial situations and helped develop an engaged personal finance community.

Resources Mentioned In Today's Conversation

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